Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
