they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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