the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
