I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
