my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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