bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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