Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
