so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
