You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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