i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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