She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
