I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize