Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.

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  (949): Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever. http://tfl.nu/rea8
  Replies (358) Good night (24603) Bad night (7697)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  What tipped you off? The sombrero?

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  (614): What tipped you off? The sombrero? http://tfl.nu/yqu3
  Replies (11) Good night (4779) Bad night (680)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet

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  (708): he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet http://tfl.nu/enn5
  Replies (40) Good night (6476) Bad night (692)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.

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  (651): The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing. http://tfl.nu/9cqq
  Replies (15) Good night (5263) Bad night (1155)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.

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  (702): I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad. http://tfl.nu/4uh2
  Replies (16) Good night (4960) Bad night (1501)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..

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  (203): Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied.. http://tfl.nu/zapu
  Replies (6) Good night (3841) Bad night (819)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off

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  (715): guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off http://tfl.nu/qflt
  Replies (10) Good night (3502) Bad night (1409)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?

  (718): View more from New York

  Keg backpack and a Bike

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  (315): I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED? (718): Keg backpack and a Bike http://tfl.nu/7afi
  Replies (4) Good night (1822) Bad night (1058)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status

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  (908): As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status http://tfl.nu/7e09
  Replies (6) Good night (1757) Bad night (715)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."

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  (605): You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times." http://tfl.nu/zubu
  Replies (6) Good night (2594) Bad night (748)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke

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  (314): It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke http://tfl.nu/h2tw
  Replies (4) Good night (566) Bad night (982)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off

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  (303): I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off http://tfl.nu/ymwa
  Replies (13) Good night (937) Bad night (940)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night

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  (401): I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night http://tfl.nu/cz9o
  Replies (3) Good night (687) Bad night (519)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants

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  (615): those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants http://tfl.nu/jm8o
  Replies (13) Good night (669) Bad night (1124)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.

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  (703): I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree. http://tfl.nu/r6v0
  Replies (0) Good night (479) Bad night (267)

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