Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?

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  (214): Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college? http://tfl.nu/yctk
  Replies (3) Good night (678) Bad night (2311)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.

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  (509): You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you. http://tfl.nu/aqxp
  Replies (3) Good night (2373) Bad night (812)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...

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  (859): This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk... http://tfl.nu/39pj
  Replies (8) Good night (1671) Bad night (648)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night

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  (989): What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night http://tfl.nu/rv8l
  Replies (4) Good night (2332) Bad night (659)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.

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  (360): Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours. http://tfl.nu/m716
  Replies (4) Good night (513) Bad night (1415)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed

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  (843): I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed http://tfl.nu/od18
  Replies (9) Good night (611) Bad night (2156)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"

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  (306): I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth" http://tfl.nu/c8fv
  Replies (6) Good night (1867) Bad night (788)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.

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  (704): he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears. http://tfl.nu/5pre
  Replies (3) Good night (690) Bad night (1026)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out

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  (407): More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out http://tfl.nu/4y5s
  Replies (4) Good night (516) Bad night (920)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way

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  (909): i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on (901): continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way http://tfl.nu/cwtc
  Replies (1) Good night (1044) Bad night (370)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online

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  (315): I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online http://tfl.nu/2eyx
  Replies (1) Good night (277) Bad night (672)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  I don't know what to say

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  (248): Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud? (1-248): I don't know what to say http://tfl.nu/pf22
  Replies (1) Good night (477) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.

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  (813): Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype. http://tfl.nu/49n0
  Replies (4) Good night (1098) Bad night (252)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.

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  (703): I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final. http://tfl.nu/iiqy
  Replies (0) Good night (348) Bad night (387)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on

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  (775): He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on http://tfl.nu/rn16
  Replies (7) Good night (568) Bad night (243)

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