just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Enjoy the penises
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
