I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.