Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.