This girl is more easily done than said...
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
