I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
