sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
