Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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