Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Please don't give away my fajitas
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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