O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
