Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
