hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
