at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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