i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
