They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
