her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
