Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
