it hurts more in the daytime
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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