you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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