So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
My vagina just recognized that song.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
