it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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