FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize