My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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