i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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