Don't you send me to vm
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
