I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
