So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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