My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize