I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
