Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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