i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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