youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
