my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Randomize
