Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
