i just wanna soil my oats bro
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize