So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
