i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
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If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
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Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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