Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
