Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine http://tfl.nu/uuy6
  Replies (2) Good night (1228) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch. http://tfl.nu/hocy
  Replies (39) Good night (1142) Bad night (1874)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (386): I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife http://tfl.nu/xcgm
  Replies (37) Good night (4020) Bad night (1475)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Farmville is her only friend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Farmville is her only friend. http://tfl.nu/6s8i
  Replies (55) Good night (905) Bad night (5716)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up http://tfl.nu/dywv
  Replies (13) Good night (1135) Bad night (4885)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (951): My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit. http://tfl.nu/s2aa
  Replies (33) Good night (10668) Bad night (1365)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice http://tfl.nu/enb2
  Replies (7) Good night (2974) Bad night (892)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table. http://tfl.nu/pm1l
  Replies (3) Good night (2050) Bad night (1080)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (763): I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby http://tfl.nu/ll5m
  Replies (10) Good night (639) Bad night (2504)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover. http://tfl.nu/imva
  Replies (5) Good night (1808) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out. http://tfl.nu/7070
  Replies (5) Good night (1243) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (906): Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea http://tfl.nu/gfkd
  Replies (3) Good night (508) Bad night (888)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night. http://tfl.nu/dsb1
  Replies (2) Good night (815) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer" http://tfl.nu/l0xj
  Replies (2) Good night (599) Bad night (246)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions http://tfl.nu/fhlj
  Replies (1) Good night (556) Bad night (224)

Randomize