Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.

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  (925): He's on drugs...like drugs for horses. http://tfl.nu/witw
  Replies (41) Good night (1067) Bad night (2836)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.

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  (845): I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt. http://tfl.nu/j6pk
  Replies (9) Good night (596) Bad night (2467)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.

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  (229): Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment. http://tfl.nu/tuh7
  Replies (39) Good night (11887) Bad night (766)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Are you pooping in the stall next to me?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Maybe....

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.

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  (540): Are you pooping in the stall next to me? (404): Maybe.... (540): Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts. http://tfl.nu/wph3
  Replies (82) Good night (4330) Bad night (5097)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot

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  (770): i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot http://tfl.nu/xdnv
  Replies (27) Good night (7043) Bad night (1264)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.

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  (701): I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships. http://tfl.nu/filq
  Replies (12) Good night (3805) Bad night (1120)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?

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  (508): Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"? http://tfl.nu/9ial
  Replies (29) Good night (951) Bad night (2856)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.

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  (405): No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull. http://tfl.nu/uent
  Replies (16) Good night (3986) Bad night (994)
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  (408): View more from California

  he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."

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  (408): he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink." http://tfl.nu/8gq0
  Replies (25) Good night (3563) Bad night (6149)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual

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  (864): she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual http://tfl.nu/fkyx
  Replies (3) Good night (1320) Bad night (764)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.

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  (775): Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think. http://tfl.nu/vd5v
  Replies (2) Good night (496) Bad night (992)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.

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  (434): He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me. http://tfl.nu/bcau
  Replies (7) Good night (521) Bad night (671)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway

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  (803): Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway http://tfl.nu/xe68
  Replies (6) Good night (744) Bad night (283)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?

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  (215): who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game? http://tfl.nu/6oz2
  Replies (5) Good night (420) Bad night (350)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is

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  (317): And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is http://tfl.nu/xorh
  Replies (0) Good night (638) Bad night (247)

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