Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.

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  (631) Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you. http://tfl.nu/pf1f
  Replies (14) Good night (1271) Bad night (618)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Too tired to pretend that I care : (

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  (847): I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over? (773): Too tired to pretend that I care : ( http://tfl.nu/bskc
  Replies (29) Good night (1096) Bad night (7882)
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  (909): View more from California

  Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.

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  (909): Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle. http://tfl.nu/fgdn
  Replies (16) Good night (4480) Bad night (786)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.

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  (570): no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from. http://tfl.nu/zs5p
  Replies (8) Good night (741) Bad night (2212)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?

  (219): View more from Indiana

  yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?

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  (219): about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town? (219): yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes? http://tfl.nu/jl45
  Replies (5) Good night (2341) Bad night (693)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.

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  (219): No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone. http://tfl.nu/5xs9
  Replies (7) Good night (2049) Bad night (854)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".

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  (224): I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!". http://tfl.nu/pw3u
  Replies (8) Good night (3235) Bad night (749)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...

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  (803): I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid... http://tfl.nu/m79e
  Replies (11) Good night (789) Bad night (1281)
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  (925): View more from California

  I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.

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  (925): I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m. http://tfl.nu/avly
  Replies (1) Good night (956) Bad night (360)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.

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  (607): Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like. http://tfl.nu/4oye
  Replies (3) Good night (689) Bad night (453)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat

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  (720): Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat http://tfl.nu/h23q
  Replies (6) Good night (1325) Bad night (473)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.

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  (904): Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake. http://tfl.nu/mh4i
  Replies (10) Good night (687) Bad night (902)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.

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  (810): I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP. http://tfl.nu/97xo
  Replies (7) Good night (2448) Bad night (481)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore

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  (214): I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore http://tfl.nu/ea8h
  Replies (7) Good night (662) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary

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  (973): Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary http://tfl.nu/fd32
  Replies (1) Good night (567) Bad night (230)

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