I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF