so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?