The maid of honor just puked.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's