there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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