ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
