Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
two words: eviction party
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize