You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
