he puts the penis in happiness.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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