wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
